The arrival fallacy is the belief that reaching a specific life goal will bring lasting happiness and fulfillment. Many of the goals we set for ourselves rest on this fallacy. We delay happiness to a time when some condition X or Y is finally met. Once I …, then I’ll finally be happy. This could be finding a life partner, acquiring material possessions, climbing in status, conquering a vice, etc.

Look at the goals you have accomplished. A subset of them promised lasting happiness. Were those promises kept? No. Obviously not. The happiness was fleeting. But the next one is different, right? It isn’t. Be cautious of false promises. Avoid the arrival fallacy because it is not consistent with reality. It reminds me of the Penrose stairs. You can keep climbing but you are not going anywhere.

It is important to become aware of how your goals have failed you. Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate. Said another way, the precondition to agency is awareness.

The opposite of doing something because it will get you “somewhere” is curiosity.

Curiosity means working on something without expectation. Curiosity is like “following your nose.” It requires listening to your instincts. What are you naturally drawn towards? What seems interesting? Not because it promises you something. Not for any reason, actually.

Relying on curiosity is an infinite game that you can’t lose. By infinite I mean that curiosity does not see a destination, unlike games subject to the arrival fallacy. And you can’t lose them because there isn’t a condition for failure. Despite this, they’re still games: they feel like play.

Curiosity is an infinite fuel source. Remember that “the man who loves walking will walk further than the man who loves the destination.” It is one of those few traits that compounds incredibly well.

Curiosity must be cultivated. Left to nature it will wither away. It’s not dilutive to intentionally design environments where you protect curiousity. It just means you accept the simple fact that curiosity is fragile.

A principal example of the arrival fallacy is envy: the need to “catch up,” or to acquire something others have. Social networks are the main cause of envy. They trigger our mimetic tendencies; we are, without knowing, downloading desires from the internet. This is one of the main reasons I feel the need to withdraw from life online.